LA LEY DE HERODES: O TE CHINGAS O TE JODES

12 05 2011

MAL DE MUCHOS, CONSUELO DE TONTOS.

EL QUE RIE AL ULTIMO, RIE MEJOR.

CUANDO NO LLUEVE, LLOVIZNA.

UN CLAVO, SACO OTRO CLAVO.

ES DE SABIOS CAMBIAR DE OPINION.

MAS SABE EL DIABLO POR VIEJO QUE POR DIABLO.

SE QUEDO PARA VESTIR SANTOS.

BILLETE MATA CARITA.

MAS RAPIDO CAE UN HABLADOR QUE UN COJO.

DEL PLATO A LA BOCA, SE CAE LA SOPA.

NO POR MUCHO MADRUGAR, AMANECE MAS TEMPRANO.

CAMARON QUE SE DUERME SE LO LLEVA LA CORRIENTE.

LE CAYO EL CHAHUIZTLE.

ENTRE MENOS BURROS MAS OLOTES.

EL DINERO ES COMO LA GUAYABA, IMPOSIBLE DE ESCONDER.

NO ESTA EL HORNO PARA BOLLOS.

EL QUE POR GUSTO ES BUEY, HASTA LA COYUNTA LAME

SE QUEDO COMO EL PERRO DE LAS DOS TORTAS.

MATRIMONIO Y MORTAJA DEL CIELO BAJA.

MAS VALE SOLO QUE MAL ACOMPAÑADO.

DIME CON QUIEN ANDAS Y TE DIRE QUIEN ERES.

NO HAGAS COSAS BUENAS QUE PAREZCAN MALAS.

LE SALIO EL TIRO POR LA CULATA

PERRO QUE LADRA, NO MUERDE.

AMOR DE LEJOS, AMOR DE PENDEJOS.

EL QUE PARTE Y COMPARTE SE LLEVA LA MEJOR PARTE.

DE LOCOS Y TRAGONES ESTAN LLENOS LOS PANTEONES.

SE LO LLEVO LA TRISTE CANCION

SE QUEDO SIN EL CUADRO Y SIN LA ESTAMPA.

DIME DE QUE PRESUMES, Y TE DIRE DE QUE CARECES.

EL MUERTO AL HOYO Y EL VIVO AL POLLO.

NO ESTA EL HORNO PARA BOLLO NI EL AGUA PARA CHOCOLATE.

MAS VALE UNA COLORADA QUE 100O DESCOLORIDAS.

LAS PENAS CON PAN SON MENOS.

POR LA BOCA MUERE EL PEZ.

LA LEY DE HERODES: O TE CHINGAS O TE JODES.

NO HAY MAL QUE DURE CIEN AÑOS NI CUERPO QUE LO RESISTA.

ARRIEROS SOMOS Y EN EL CAMINO ANDAMOS.

PORQUE PUEDO VENGO, NO VENGO A VER SI PUEDO.

ABOGADO, JUEZ Y DOCTOR, CUANTO MAS LEJOS, MEJOR.

MAS VALE PASO QUE DURE, QUE TROTE QUE CANSE.

NO TE CALIENTES COMAL, QUE NO ES PA’TI LA TORTILLA.

AL QUE QUIERA AZUL CELESTE, QUE LE CUESTE.

LA VERDAD NO PECA PERO INCOMODA.

PENA…ROBAR Y QUE TE CACHEN.

NI PICHAS, NI CACHAS, NI DEJAS BATEAR.

PENA…SALIR DESNUDO A LA CALLE Y QUE NO TE VOLTEEN A VER.

CADA QUIEN QUE SE RASQUE CON SUS PROPIAS UÑAS.

NADIE ESCARMIENTA EN CABEZA AJENA.

LOS ARRIMADOS, COMO LOS MUERTOS,A LOS TRES DIAS APESTAN.

PIENSA MAL Y ACERTARAS.






A Little Story – I’m Ready To Go Now

28 12 2010

Juanchorrey Sky

The businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The businessman complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while.

 

The businessman then asked why he didn’t stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The businessman then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time? The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos; I have a full and busy life, señor.”

The businessman scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and I could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats; eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the processor and eventually open your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City where you would run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But señor, how long will this all take?” To which the businessman replied, “15-20 years.” “But what then, señor?” The businessman laughed and said, “That’s the best part! When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions.” “Millions, señor? Then what?” The businessman said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, “Isn’t that what I’m doing right now?”

-Author Unknown





My newest muse on the web

11 12 2010

“Career opportunities abound for those of us who know two languages” – Lemonette

 

 





Mr. Horace Mitchell Bring Down That Wall

27 05 2010

Dear President,

I would like to express my disappointment in regards to the CSUB and Chicano Commencements. These two events are very important for me, my family and many other graduating students at California State University , Bakersfield . Because these are the only opportunities we get to share the completion of a long educational journey I expected the university, my university, to provide a sufficient amount of tickets and the proper venues for these special events.

I am upset that the Chicano Commencement Ceremony will take place (again) in such a small place, the Dore Theater. My feelings have already been expressed to M.E.Ch.A. and their response disappointed me even more. I learned that your office and the office of Bill Potter have been unresponsive and neglectful to the requests made for using the Icardo Center as location for the Chicano Commencement Ceremony.

Students at CSUB have been successfully encouraged to complete our educational goals and as we make our best efforts to achieve this objective, the number of candidates for graduation increases every year, and with this, the need for more suitable locations to hold the commencement ceremonies.

I took the time to write this message because I was already disappointed to learn that we will have limited seating at our Chicano Commencement Ceremony and I was hoping that by participating at the CSUB Commencement we would have a better opportunity to invite our extended families to celebrate our success. Why is the amount of tickets limited for our CSUB Commencement when the event is taking place outdoors in such an open place as is the amphitheatre? Furthermore, I feel as if we are being slapped by the institution for fencing the surroundings of the amphitheatre so no one is allowed to enter our ceremony without a ticket.

What is the point of acquiring a higher education degree along with an immense educational debt if we are not allowed to celebrate our accomplishments with the ones that mean the most to us? It is important for us that our extended families and friends attend our ceremonies so that they visit our campus and get to know our faculty and administrators.

With that being expressed, I hope that you and your administration reconsider the venue to be used to celebrate the Chicano Commencement and the unnecessary use of restrictive tickets and fences. My hopes are to receive a speedy response on this subject; I can be contacted at 661-342-3631.

In advance, thank you.

Cordially,

Cecilia Arámbula Medina

Chicana Candidate for Graduation 2010

California State University, Bakersfield





Letter to Simmons Honey Ranchito Douglas Arizona

5 05 2010

Dear Mr. Simmons,

On my most recent trip to Arizona, Pierce and Bisbee to be exact, I purchased a jar of your wonderful desert wildflower honey. I would have bought more but it was the last jar I found at the Bisbee Co-op. My family loves it and in fact it is nearly done.  Unfortunately as you may be aware of the recent passage of the oppressive racial profiling law against persons of Mexican origin, including myself.  I regret to inform you that I will notbe returning to Arizona, and specifically the Wilcox area of Southern Arizona for the foreseeable future and will most defiantly boycott any products with an Arizona origin, including yours. I do regret this action given I am sure you are a wonderful human being puton this earth to do good for mankind.

In googling your company Simmons Honey Ranchito I’ve found it to be just the type of business I try to patronage when ever possible. You may want to advise your elected officials and other local businesses of the unfortunate suffering a small company like yours will experience as a result of their ungodly political short sightedness.

I am only one person and you are only one company and one loss of a $12.99 sale may not have much of an impact on either one of our finances; however multiply this by tens of thousands or millions of times and well I’m sure I don’t have to explain further.

Deuteronomy 15:11





Latinos need to push for political redistricting

12 04 2010

By: Jesus Garcia, Special to MÁS

Mandated by Article I of the Constitution; 1872 Reapportionment Act and 1964 Voter Rights Act, states are required to conduct the once a decade process of realigning political boundaries known as redistricting.

Under the principle of “One Person, One Vote,” states utilize Decennial Census data to create new Congressional districts that are supposed to be “contiguous and compact” and have “as practicable an equal number of inhabitants.” Similarly, many state and local governments also use this time to revise legislative and other special district boundaries.

Since most redistricting is done by those in power, the odds are against new districts being a fair representation of the population. This process known as “Gerrymandering” has been particularly effective at preventing an expanded Latino political presence at all levels. At the national level, two examples are glaring.

In Texas, the Republican-controlled state legislature in 2003 initiated a redistricting of congressional districts that yielded an additional six Republican districts. Despite gaining two congressional seats through reapportionment, and Latinos representing 32 percent the state’s population at the time, no additional Latino congressional district was created.

In California, Gov. Gray Davis and the Democrat-controlled legislature used the redistricting process to create congressional districts that assured the re-election of the existing congress, while excluding enough Latinos from at least four districts to prevent them from being competitive, even for a Latino Democratic candidate.

The history of redistricting in Kern County for Latinos is equally discouraging. In the early 1990s, only after threat of lawsuits by the Kern County Latino Redistricting Committee, were the majority Latino Fifth District Kern County Supervisorial and 30th Assembly districts created. They remain the only major competitive districts in the county to a Latino candidate. State Senate seat District 16 is also now competitive for a Latino candidate. Despite being 42 percent of the population of the city of Bakersfield, a Latino has never been elected to our city council.

Lastly, since most school boards and other special districts in the county elect trustees on an at large basis, Latino representation on these boards, with very few exceptions, is non-existent.

So what to do?

First, it is crucial that all Kern County residents be counted in the 2010 Census. Latinos also need to be vigilant of the California Citizens Redistricting Commission. Since Latinos are projected to account for 88 percent of Kern County’s estimated growth between 2000 to 2010, an increase in the local population could be used as leverage to assure that the new Assembly and Senate districts enhance the political interests of Latinos.

Latinos need to push, so the redistricting of the Bakersfield City Council and Kern County Supervisors is conducted in an open and public process, one that allows for public review and comment.

Finally, a review of the practice of at-large elections in school boards and special districts needs to be proposed. At-large elections, especially where two or more trustees are elected at one time, allow 50 percent of voters to control 100 percent of seats. With multiple votes cast, Latino candidates in at-large elections are placed at a significant disadvantage.

— Jesus Garcia is a Bakersfield resident who previously worked as a statistician demographer at the U.S. Census headquarters in Washington, DC, assigned to the Ethnic and Hispanic Statistics Branch.